Let’s get this straight: there are several kinds of swimsuit tops. Every swimwear lover knows that right? There’s halter tops, triangle tops, and bandeaus. Each serves a different purpose. Halter tops hold up. Triangle tops are sexy. Bandeau tops avoid tan lines, among other things. So this is our train of thought: You’re Jen Aniston. You’re hot. You make gazillions of dollars per film. You have stylists at your beck and call. WHY on earth would you go on vacation to celebrate your 41st birthday with your three girlfriends (which BTW, included Sheryl Crow and Courtney Cox), and not take appropriate attire? Case in point: see picture on left.

Ritro Fuchsia Bikini by Maaji

Jen wanted to tan. She loves to tan. We see her in a bikini all the time. So if you love it Jen, I’m assuming you’ve already had a hiccup with tan lines. Laying out there for hours and then looking in the mirror and thinking “Oh, that strapless Chanel dress would not look that hot on the red carpet with the white tan lines across my neckline!”

We second that motion. So, Jen Aniston, instead of walking around poolside with your triangle top straps tied at your back, exposing half your girls with the side creases and risking a nip slip which will be seen by, I don’t know, the WHOLE world, why don’t you just wear a bandeau swimsuit? Like this one?